Eventful August

 Hi 

Been long since i wrote anything . Well been busy. 

Job was bad the performance i mean but the salary is keeping me alive . I didnt achieve KPI for 2 and prolly 3 consecutive months and there will be no extra penny for me . i feel like crying tbh but God Almighty has better plans for me?

My TL got promoted and moved on to another organization and my team was left to be led by our Line Manager, super hard to adapt but im trying to . LOL. Been calling the therapist line to seek advise from strangers not even remember her name tbh.

Baby is good progress is good and hope everything will go well . In prep for the needs i guess. Not sure if i will make it in time or not. money is tight . With all the commitments and collateral im not sure. 

Plus we are going to move in to my house kinda major renovation will be going on moving forward and that means money. EVEN maternity is with pay i cant really sustain. i dont think i will be entitled with travel allowance anymore. SAD SAD LIFE but i will try to manage myself both financially and emotionally. Maybe im gonna start flexing that im pregnant so that people with gift my baby hence i dont have to spend? lol i even have that thought. But so far manageable the house renovation that worries me as i have too much plan for the money i dont have according to Qutbi and thats worrisome .

But it is my house and i will live in it at least i want a decent kitchen for me to cook and live happily. I guess. Is it too much to ask? well money is the issue then it is i guess. i may not sustain  this life and im so afraid to know what will the future holds. '

I wish that the airline company will get better soon and it means Qutbi also has to prepare himself . I cant do this alone anymore. Well if i do i think i can but im gonna be a totally different person. Not the happy wtv i want anymore. A distressful working mom with a lots of commitments and taking not so nuance action in life. 

I wish and hope that life will get better. since i was a child i want to be better and live better and free doing what i want with my money . Able to spend worry free and have extra to spare, Everything and anything to not have a harsh life not to mention to experience and go down the same road. Been really good to motivate myself to work since then never in my life i told myself to be lazy now i just wanna succumb to the core of the earth. Hey this is not the end . I need to come back stronger.

Whoever reads this entry please pray for me and my future, your prayer for me counts. 

I appreciate you.

Regards

MMNAT