Been lazy enough

 Remember i told u i will try to write! Well i did only in my mind. I cant find the right time to access to my laptop 👩‍💻 often it seems. I was not well for a couple of weeks knocked me weak. I was vulnerable 

So hard to explain everything. It seems so hard. But life moves on anyway so i have to strut . 

Anyway job is ok life pretty much ok emotionally unstable almost everyday battling for what i think is good for me. It is hard enough to calm myself and be ok with the current issue i have and i have to deal with someone elses. I can almost go crazy. 

For bad and good times every time i try to ponder the goods on it i feel grateful and for the bad i cried. Cause thats who i am. I hope people around me willing to understand me more that im supposed to cause i know it can be tiring. And i also know if they dont,  i will breakdown real bad, real real bad. The turmoil i have to endure that if i even tell anyone will just bat an eyelid and ask me to be ok and dont think bout it. 

Many people disregard the emotional feelings.me on the other hand look into this matter deeply . How it affects me how i will react to how long time to heal? Till when will i never forget this. It is so hard to be ok. People around me are tired sometimes i think it is better to be left alone be a sad and lonely person give me 3 days to heal and come back fresh. Repeat. Cause no one will tahan the same if it happened regularly??

Im my heart i pray that everything goes smoothly to everyone around me  so that i can handle myself cause even the closest one tend to make u sad and there is nothing u can say bout it cause the person has done so much. 

Till then

Mmnat