La Vida

Hi guys
mind you this is not about dato vida muah muah tu this is about life. Well in spanish vida means life.
i mean wellbeing and how it should be.
All my life i dreamt of having a life that i have always wanted not the one im living.
it took me long enough to realise i dont really have a normal life. my family is not.
Spared too much time thinking and trying to fix them all but it seems that all blended together and impossible to impair the imperfections.
I wish i could but you cant resist the old man would you?😷
Sad as it seems i know it is gonna be real hard to change the fate even im trying to make it happen. Who am i kidding ?
Sadder to see the little sisters may be living the same way i had. Wht an eyesore and heartache.💢


My life is still a mess. Me and my husband literally testing life on a flat plane trying to make it interesting day by day whenever we have time. The affection must go on or else the love dies and wilts.
We have so many cancelled vacation plans , expired hotel bookings, dreamy vacations getaway that seems far fetched and it is almost a year now.
Cant afford to have time together for our own vacation since we planned. Mostly turns out to be the home retreats stayed at home mode - with close family. People get bored but i tend to have interesting perspective and how we perceive things may turns somehow negative to relatively positive. Well im trying to so hard to make things feel okay.

I on the other hand cant be all the pretentious saint being all okay when it is not but life is not too bad. just another day mingle different weeks same people same vibes same motions.i could escape life as we speak as i dont really feel any obligations as far as im concerned,it is my healthy state of mind is the most important thing that i should taken care of. but there is inner me, okkay stay for a while, okay for this time, just this time, pulling me back to where i dont want to stand.

Will have a new job coming fast, i should be buried with the new job requirement so i dont have my mind thinking on this. in fact there are lots more problems to think rather than this morbid feeling i have- so people say sometimes . i just wish i have all the time for myself doing what i want and like. Not what people want or ask and want me to do.😪

I have read some and realise i didnt do much reading nowadays. Blimey my life as an idiotic persona living the lavish life like i know it all when i only know the surface of it. I wish that i could change to be a better person for everything .
Less procrastinate, less judging, more patient, being grateful even i am obviously not happy how my life turns out, and being in love for the rest of my life.🥰😍🤩😚

The husband will start being busy ( as he already is for the past months) and i wish you all the best for your career sayang.
Though it is hard for you to manage i know you will somehow try your best - cause there is no turning back.
Thank you for being here wnenever you can however possible even it caused you your time your study just to be with me. i know it is hard and as much as i want whatever i wrote or mentioned you want it too. Badly. We are in the same boat. Semoga rezeki kita murah even dah setahun kahwin - semoga panjang umur and always happy with each other's company.

We are about to have a new journey of our own in less than 4 months and lets make it real🏡

Love,
Mmnat