Escapism

Hi!

Of late many things happened
Emotional turmoil,unexpected events and everything seems not in place
Like im back to square one
I think im losing my shits
I have to keep it together
My guts, my spirits ,my vibes

What i need in life is something i cant have back then
Maybe ive had it ,but too blind or it was too soon then it disappeared ?
I dont know what i want exactly
But i do know i want to feel at ease
I want to have everything my in own fucking way
At least
After everything that ive endured before

If people who are born in silver spoon and still yes living it
Can say life is hard
So who the hell are you to say just be tough and man up?
Ive made myself man enough you just blinked you eyes everytime i did that?
So you can say you havent try hard enough yet.
Truth sometimes isnt something that you dare to spare
You keep it and it eats you inside out
Prepare a happy mask go out ,spend money, live the life and forget bout that a lil while
Then the feelings will be mutual
Between  you and your soul
There is no way out but to deal with it.

At some point
I believe my life dont deserve any person at all
Maybe im better off alone
To carry on.


Till then
Mmnat