Vain

do you know what you really want in life? Like the real thing? Yes i do.
I know what i want and better yet tahu i wont get it in time. It is so frustrating okay knowing that I don't have the power to choose but only decide.

It is like we go against the law of nature. Dissatisfied with life but have to agree and live woth it.
I must say i always say life isnt fair not to me .
But our faith and belief  keep us reminded that this is temporary cause the afterlife is the permanent life. But yeah im currently alive now kicking breathing , i need a life .

My rant doesnt mean im being ungrateful. Life is so much better now than before cause there is effort. Yes somehow.
What if i choose to stop trying will it be worst?
I have lived my life pretending it is good and happy
I tried to do everything that they cant afford during my childhood
How many years more?
How long?
As im still breathing the air from the Al-mighty i may as well be glad im still alive.
There are lots of misfortune peoples out there who dont even can properly walk talk or even eat.
Ecah day i pray to god to please let me get through this without hesitation.
I know this is temporary but i hope i will stay strong forever and ever!


Till then
Mmnat